Day 4…the hardest question in the world

Posted: March 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

In my quest to abandon “passive lying,” I’ve come to realize that the most difficult question to answer is…

“How are you?”

I mean all variations of the question too… “how you been?” or “how is everything going?” or…you get it. Such a simple question in nature, but challenging like a mug!

It’s tough because I end up trying to figure out if the question is a formality or if it’s a question of genuine concern. I don’t want to be dishonest, but I also don’t want to tell folks more than they really want to know. I almost responded to someone today, “can you be more specific?”

Lol…this is gonna be interesting. Does anybody else think about this stuff as much as I do?

  1. Chris says:

    I get it a lot (Pause). But my kanan group discussed this topic and if it’s someone you know and know has actual concern for you well being answer truthfully but not overly transparent. If it’s someone who is just passing through say I’m surviving, living day by day. It’s not a requirement to describe you every emotion to that question but to as much as necessary depending on who your speaking with. If that makes sense

    • Thanks Chris. Good to know I’m not the only one that thinks about this. I think you highlighted one of my questions too…what exactly is “overly transparent” to a person that has concern for you? Should that really be possible?

  2. DeAnna says:

    I have actually said “Can you be more specific?” to someone who asked me that before. (Of course, it was someone who was closer to me. . .) I think too hard about most questions people ask, especially this one. It is hard to know when people are just saying a formality to start a conversation about something else, or if they have the concern/time/willingness to actually listen to the real answer.

    Usually, I end up saying “Alright” to gauge what people’s motives are. If they just want to talk, they usually keep going, if they are concerned, they will say, “just alright?” and then I can move on to gauge just how much I can say. . . lol i guess it’s a nicer way of saying ‘usually, I just lie.’

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